Christian Weston Chandler – The Man, The Legend

I normally don’t devote blog posts to individual failures, but I felt my insight could not be held back any further. Much has been said about Christian Weston Chandler on Encyclopedia Dramatica. In fact, so much  has been said about him, the amount of words devoted to his entry outnumbers the entry about the ongoing anonymous protest against Scientology. The discussion about the Chris-Chan article is equivalent to a 250 page book. At the same time, the saga has brought me lulz and remorse. Could Christian Weston Chandler, a.k.a “Chris-Chan” or CWC possibly be the biggest idiot ever unearthed by INTERNET?

Why is INTERNET buzzing about CWC? Hmm, let’s see…(Keep in mind, this dude is 26 years old)

• Claims to be a “Highly Functioning Autistic“, even though you can’t officially be diagnosed with that by a Doctor.
• Because he is a HFA, apparently he gets public assistance in the form of Social Security or as what Chris refers to his “Monthly Tugboat”.
• Is single (nothing wrong with that), but wants a “Boyfriend-Free Girl” so he can have a daughter named Crystal.
• He despises ALL “manajerks” other than him and his father because apparently they all have girlfriends.
• Claims to be the sole and original creator of “Sonichu”, a combination of video game characters Sonic the Hedgehog and Pikachu from “Pokemon” and wears a medallion featuring that character with him at all times.
• Not only he creates a comic about said character, it is poorly drawn, written, very personal and creepy to boot.
• Oh yeah, he thinks that Nintendo or Sega actually spends the time to listen to his inane ideas for a video game featuring Sonichu.
• A devout Christian who is homophobic and racist (Saying “I respect the Blacks as equals” referring to Latinas as “a mix of American and Spanish” and making a racial joke about painting the white house black in his comic assure that.)
• His escapades with a girl she knew from meeting at a table top gaming hangout is the stuff of legends.
• He is reluctant to speak explicitly about sex, often replacing words for sex organs that make him sound ridiculous.

Once anonymous trolls began obtaining more information, the fun really began. Ever since he was unearthed by the culture of Anonymous in October 2007, he been a constant trolling target. Things were relatively quiet until recently when trolls not only managed to find his personal address, but telephone and names of his relatives. A lot of this was public information mentioned through his website, YouTube and MySpace profile. If anonymous wants to find you, all they need to do is connect the dots in your social networks online. They did it to him and they could do the same to me or you.

The excrement would hit the fan when a girl (It might be a troll who is really a guy or actually a girl) contacted Chris with intentions of starting a relationship. Shortly after this revelation, nude photographs of Chris masturbating surfaced on ED. Normally, if someone’s nude, masturbating pictures were plastered all over INTERNET, it would be quite a rude awakening and you would probably think again for allowing that to happen, but Chris still vlogged about it on YouTube.

WAIT! It’s still not over! Chris-chan had his e-mail account and YouTube account compromised and thus we were able to get a lot more insight into the mind of this creep. I’m not going to post any of them, so feel free to take a read of them on ED. We first knew he entered a PaRappa the Rapper contest so he could win a trip to the gaming convention PAX and got extremely upset when he didn’t win. Once the e-mails surfaced, the only reason why he really, really wanted win is to impress his “sweetheart” at the time who obviously didn’t get the memo that she didn’t appreciate him touching her. The girl basically rips him apart over the fact.

Reading those e-mails, I also found out his relations with some of his relatives. His half-brother who is pretty successful as a movie critic, wanted to find out who his biological father was. For some reason, Chris’ mom won’t reveal that and whenever he asks about it, Chris gives usually gives out excuses by his mom. Chris steeped low enough to ask his brother to VOTE for the Parappa contest in exchange of finding out who is real father was.

After reading the e-mails,to sum it up; Chris is very self-centered and is not concerned about anyone’s feelings.

Still, anonymous wanted to get CWC in the worst way. I mentioned about his “Sonichu” medallion that he frequently wears throughout his videos. That very medallion has received much derision from Chris’ detractors. Some believe that his persistent wearing of the medallion at the adult age of 26 is the reason why he hasn’t gotten a decent relationship with a woman yet. The woman/troll that Chris is seeing apparently got a hold of not only the medallion but a home-made DVD entitled “Christian Weston Chandler… Yep, I’m On T.V. ” featuring never before seen content. The DVD has now been distributed via bittorrent for public consumption. I’ll try to get some opinion on that once it finishes seeding. Watching it now and dear god what the hell is this?

So, how in the hell does all of this relate to me? I won’t say that I’m NOT “socially awkward”, but this guy is an inspiration to me. It’s an inspiration because I don’t want to end up being like this guy, EVER. Right now, things are a bit rough for me. I am currently unemployed and live with the rents’ for the time being. The difference with Chris and me is that I am actively seeking work and Chris seems not to want to even lift a finger to support himself. I also don’t blame my problems with women of the world with terms like “Jerkops” and “Kick the Autistic” but MYSELF.

If you are reading this right now Chris, I implore you to GET HELP. I have no problems with you playing video games or watching Anime (I do that stuff too), but you gotta drop the “Sonichu” obsession. Drawing it is one thing, but actively trying to sell your ideal to Nintendo and Sega is not going to work. Also the medallion is not working as well. You know what, my favorite cartoon character is Minnie Mouse and I don’t go around wearing a large medallion of her in public (and I sure as hell don’t draw pornography of her either). I read the comic and it felt very personal and speaks volumes about your personality, fears and aspirations, much like looking at a toddlers’ drawing about what he wants to be when he grows up…or if there is something horribly wrong. As a result of reading your comic and info about your real life, there is something horribly wrong. At the least, try to enroll into a art class and work on improving your skills. You’ve been drawing your characters since 2000 and you haven’t improved your art one bit.

Also, if you continue to expose yourself on the internet, you will still be a target of your adversaries. They know your weaknesses and will continue to exploit you. When I was 12, I was bullied a lot. I made an audio tape doing silly skits that mocked some of my enemies. Somehow the tape surfaced in school and I was endlessly tormented by it. I continued to be offended by them making fun of the tape and they still messed with me. What I’m saying is these trolls are pushing your buttons. Once your information is out there, it is OUT there and can’t be taken away. Try erasing it all you want, the ED page is NOT going away. In the event girlvinyl decides not to run ED anymore, someone will probably copy the information elsewhere. Laying low and not using your real name, anything connected to Sonichu or you saying I need a “Boyfriend-free girl” may work, but your personality is very exposed and documented. I would try actually getting out in public and not using the Internet to look for a relationship. Or try eHarmony since you want to get married or something.