Yankee Stadium is Awesome, but there are 5 things that I HATE about it

I wrote this junk before 1am. I will be attending the final game at Yankee Stadium today, thanks to stub hub and a credit card closer to my limit. If my iPhone doesn’t die on me, I will blog from the Bronx to give you an eyewitness account of all the hoopla.

I’m sure a lot of Yankee purists would LOVE to return to the days before the 1973 renovations began as it obviously is all better since because it’s old; however Yankee Stadium is NOT perfect. The stadium has been open for 85 years and it doesn’t hold a candle to the modern parks such as Candem Yards, PNC Park, the list goes on. Despite having to put out a second mortgage for season tickets, I guarantee that the new Yankee Stadium will be the finest stadium in all of baseball, maybe even the WORLD. Not only it will have over 9,000 restaurants, it will have a freakin’ Hard Rock Cafe suckers! How can you beat that Citi Field?

Can’t you see I’m getting sarcastic here?

Anyway, I have 5 examples to show you what I hate about Yankee Stadium. All those championships and retired legends can not hide the fact that some things about the stadium suck and should never cross the street in Yankee Stadium III.

1. Overzealous security guards at the gates – I’m sure many a patron has dealt with these underpaid, disgruntled folks one many too times. I have no problem in letting them check my bag. The problem that I have with them is that a bag that belongs to a guy is somehow automatically EVIL and full of TERRORISM. Thus, they are usually not permitted into the stadium. Hell, I even got flack for bringing a SMALL, non-instrustive bag to hold my camera (Which they did let me in with after arguing). Meanwhile, many women’s purses, no matter what size they were get passed through security. For awhile, you couldn’t even bring in SUNTAN lotion into the ballpark. Fortunlately, they reversed the restriction after much complaints. Still, this is not an airplane where you need to bring 3 oz or less of liquid on board in ziploc bags neatly in a row so the TSA peon doesn’t have to dig deep in your bag and ruin everything in it.
2. God Bless America – Ever since 9/11, this abortion of a song has played at the end of the 7th inning no matter what. It made sense to play it right after the tragedy, but after several years, don’t you think it’s enough? As a New Yorker, I greatly respect the Police and Firefighters who saved countless lives and some who sacrificed themselves on that day, but in 2008, I feel we need to move on. Why should Yankee Stadium be the only stadium in all of baseball to do this at EVERY game? Isn’t the Star Spangled Banner enough? You also have a special plaque in monument park for 9/11 as well. Will it take another brave individual(s) to challenge this groupthink? And to top it all, Kate Bush is not even a good singer.
3. Centerplate – For years, these are the guys that are behind much of the food service at Yankee Stadium. For such a legendary stadium, it doesn’t have legendary service. Many of the employees are surly, unfriendly and seem not to want to be here. I have worked dead-end jobs in the past and it’s no excuse to act like that. Not to mention the long lines and high prices make matters worse. Be glad they won’t be moving next door in 2009.
4. Narrow concourses – When there are more than 53,000 fans in attendance, maneuvering around the stadium can be a nightmare.  It can be especially bad when you have to jott over to the restrooms and THE WORST once Frank Sanatra starts speading the news. (In other words, non-Yankee fans: Game over) This reason is perhaps one of the most important reasons why Yankee Stadium II is out of date and Yankee Stadium III is the new hotness.
5. Skyrocketing ticket prices. Unless the great depression hits America again, there is a great chance that I may never get the chance to sit closer to the action. The sad fact that in most MLB cities, the cost of going to a ballgame keeps going up and up. Think it’s tough for a single guy like me? When you add a family of four, then the Nintendo Wii is sounding like a more attractive alternative for entertainment. Sadly, the new Yankee Stadium will only make this matter worse as season ticket holders for generations were outpriced out of their normal sections. At the time of this writting, the New York Yankees have yet to reveal single ticket prices, but I expect it to be astronomical.
6. BONUS – “Cotton-eye Joe” - That abomination of a song should’ve NEVER got out of the 90’s alive, yet the PA crew insists it is full of lulz and joy. In reality, it is made of fail and lose. The club should bury all existing copies of the song and demolish them. Your $1.3 Billion dollar pinstripe palace should not be sullened with such a vile musical composition.